A taste of the good stuff
by ExileOblivion
Summary: John learns that certain earth foods have certain effects on the trolls, and winds up having to help out his best friend in an unusual way. JohnKat. Rated M just to be on the safe side


"Hey Karkat, snacks are ready" John called out as he carried a platter of celery sticks with a small bowl of Nutella for dipping in.

"Bout damn time" Karkat didn't bother looking away from the TV screen as his human friend walked in, seeing a plate of some weird green things being placed on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"What the hell is this?" Karkat wrinkled his nose as he picked up a celery stick and cautiously licked it.

"It's Celery. Something we ate on Earth, it's healthy even though it tastes like butt on it's own; that's why you spread peanut butter or something else on it" He chuckled as he watched the alien stick out his tongue and throw the stick of Celery back on the platter.

"That's worse then ass. That's worse then MOLDY ass. What's this brown shit?" Karkat picked up the small bowl and sniffed it curiously.

"That godly concoction is called Nutella. It's like peanut butter, but it's made with hazelnuts and chocolate" This was a better description then the last, but Karkat was still hesitant upon trying the unknown substance. His eyes almost immediately became twice their normal size when he put a bit of the earth food on his tongue.

"Karkat...are you okay...?" John asked with a concerned tone as he reached over to place a hand on Karkat's shoulder. Karkat slowly looked over at him, his eyes never reverting back to their normal size.

"W-what did you say this stuff was...?" Karkat whispered in a weird tone as he dipped his finger into the bowl again.

"...Nutella" He raised an eyebrow as he watched Karkat remove his finger from he bowl and began to slowly lick it.

"Karkat, are you okay? You're acting kind of...weird"

"Do you have anymore of this stuff?" Karkat almost whimpered as he sucked on his fingertip.

"Uh, yeah. I think there's a whole jar left..." His voice trailed off as Karkat brought the bowl to his lips and began to lick that as well. John took it off of him before he could get his tongue in the Nutella, almost laughing at the pathetic look on Karkat's face.

"What is with you all of a sudden? You're like a cat who just ate catnip" John had to stretch his arm out to keep Karkat from grabbing the bowl back. Karkat gave up and laid there sprawled over John's lap, nuzzling his cheek against his chest.

"I...I don't know but, I feel..._hot" _He emphasized the last word, and it was John's turn for the wide eyes.

"H-hot? You mean like...a fever, right?" He nervous said as Karkat sat up to look up into his eyes.

"No, you slow idiot; hot like...turned on" The look on his face was a mixture of embarrassement and..._lust._ John felt his ears begin to burn, finding it hard to swallow as he looked down at Karkat.

"O-oh...um, I think there's a...well, you know what in the bathroom if you need to use it"

"I don't want that, I want..." He looked away as he placed a hand on John's chest, almost pawing at him "..I want something else" John blushed brightly and tensed for a moment, but he took a deep breath and tried his best to relax.

"So...you want..." He stuttered as he put an arm around Karkat, making the troll press his body against his more "Uh, _help_?"

"Fuck, do I need to spell out? Don't make me beg...just...help me" Karkat grabbed John's shirt, lightly digging his nails into his skin.

"Uh...Okay Karkat, but just this once" He set the small bowl of Nutella down on the stand beside the couch, giving Karkat an awkward smile. Karkat let out an exasperated sigh as he leaned up and began to nip John's neck.

"K-Karkat" John gasped at the feeling of Karkat's sharp teeth against his skin. He had somehow managed to use just the right amount of pressure to make it hurt without bleeding, which amazed John.

"You humans are so fucking slow at everything" He growled as he took John's hand and placed it on his hard bulge, letting out a low moan at the contact. John almost went rigid from this, having never been in this sort of situation before and having no idea what to do from here.

"Jegus John, come _on_" Karkat whined as he began to move John's hand over him, making the human snap back to reality "just pretend you're doing it to yourself or something, don't just sit there" He pressed his body closer to John, letting out a series of small moans.

"Alright" John let out a breath as he pulled Karkat closer to him, closing his eyes as he slowly began to rub Karkat's bulge. This made the Troll arch his back and hiss softly in agreement. John shivered and moved his hand faster, beginning to find this easier.

"M-moreeeee" Karkat moaned as he tried to tug his pants down, but John stopped him. Before Karkat could protest, John had gotten some of the Nutella on his finger and pressed it to Karkat's lips. Karkat hungrily licked at the finger presented to him, not paying attention to John as he loosened his pants and slipped a hand under his boxers. Karkat moaned against John's hand as he felt the human's bare skin rubbing his bulge.

"F-fuucckkk" In a swift movement Karkat leaned up and placed a deep kiss on John's lips, engaging in their first make-out session. John began to pump him faster, making the troll moan against his lips and buck his hips against John's hand.

"Shit, I'm getting close" Karkat whimpered against John's mouth.

"I'll run upstairs and grab the-"

"No, don't worry about it" He broke away just enough to pull his shirt off and threw it to the ground "there's no way I'm letting you go now"

"Yeah, that sounds like something you'd say" John chuckled as he slowly trailed his thumb up Karkat's length.

"Faster, Fuckass" Karkat glared at him and nipped at his neck, successfully getting the human to do as he asked. He began to squirm so much he couldn't kiss the human, even barely able to nuzzle up against him or keep from clawing his clothes off.

"J-John, I'm gunna..." He whimpered as his back straightened. A few seconds later he threw his head back and moaned loudly as finally released, the light red cum almost coating his entire upper body. He fell back into John's lap and panted for air, remaining quiet for a few minutes while he let his body calm down.

"If you tell anyone about this, I will _murder_ you in your sleep, got it Egbert?" John nodded as Karkat looked up at him with is once again serious expression.

"Good, now help me clean this up..."

A/N: 4th fic down for NaNoWriMo! I'm still not used to writing Homestuck fics and having them all in character, but I feel like I'm getting better. This was really interesting...I hope you guys will be able to look at Nutella without thinking of this fic; sorry if I ruined it for you! LMAO. Today's prompt: aphrodisiacs: it turns out some food from earth has an ingredient that makes trolls all hot and bothered. John unwittingly shares some of his snacks with Karkat, making him super horny and desperate. John, being a Good Friend, helps him out.

Bonus points for a over-sensitive, begging for it Kar.


End file.
